Early in my commercial real estate career in NYC, I lost a deal that still makes me cringe when I think about it. Not because the client was difficult. Not because we didn't have the right space. But because my ego got in the way of serving the client.
I was working with a major publishing company looking to lease significant Manhattan office space – a $15 million transaction. I had done my research. I knew the market. I had the perfect spaces lined up. But what I didn't have was something crucial: gray hair.
Here's where I made the fatal mistake. Instead of bringing in one of our senior brokers – particularly our firm's owner who had decades of experience with similar clients – I convinced myself I could handle it alone. After all, I thought, why share the commission when I'm doing all the work?
The meetings started well enough. I showed them impressive spaces, threw around market knowledge, and thought I was impressing them with my hustle. But I started noticing subtle signs. The sidelong glances between executives during presentations. The increasingly brief responses to my follow-ups. The growing delays in scheduling next steps.
Then came the news I dreaded: they went with another firm.
The painful truth? They didn't trust their multi-million dollar real estate decision to someone who, despite knowing the market, couldn't bring the depth of experience they needed. They wanted someone who had navigated multiple market cycles, who had guided other publishing companies through similar transitions, who could share battle stories from decades in the business.
All of that experience existed in my own firm – specifically in our owner. If I had checked my ego and brought him into the process early, we would have likely won the deal. Instead, I let my pride and commission dreams cloud my judgment.
This experience taught me three crucial lessons about sales:
- Sometimes the best way to serve your client is to bring in other experts. It's not a sign of weakness – it's a sign of putting the client's needs first.
- In major B2B decisions, clients aren't just buying your product or service – they're buying confidence and peace of mind. Sometimes that requires gray hair.
- Humility is a competitive advantage. Being honest about what you can and can't provide builds more trust than trying to be everything to everyone.
Today, when I coach sales teams, I often see the same mindset that cost me that deal. Salespeople trying to be heroes instead of building the right team around their client. They confuse independence with effectiveness.
The irony? When I finally learned to bring in senior expertise at the right moments, my commissions actually increased. Clients appreciated the honesty and comprehensive approach, and my close rates improved dramatically.
Here's a simple test: Look at your current opportunities. Are there places where your ego is getting in the way of bringing in additional expertise? Are you trying to be everything to your client when sharing the spotlight might actually serve them better?
That $15 million lesson changed my entire approach to sales. Now I lead with humility instead of hubris. The results? Higher close rates, bigger deals, and – most importantly – better-served clients who get exactly what they need, even if it means sharing the credit.
Sometimes the best sales technique is simply admitting you're not the only expert your client needs.
