Curiosity. Skepticism. Active Listening.
Keep your ears open like your life depends on it.
Have you ever noticed that some conversations make you feel heard? Others seem like someone is waiting to sell you something. This can happen with a friend or in a sales conversation. You either pose sincere inquiries or make a calculated sales inquiry. Are you or the other party trying to steer the conversation? This can result in a poor outcome in either case.
When you pitch, it’s all about your script and your goals. Your questions push the conversation where you want it to go. This can feel a bit forceful or insincere. Playing chess is like making calculated moves to win.
But when you’re asking, it’s different. You are open, listening ready, and willing to be influenced by what you learn. This doesn’t just make you a better communicator; it makes you a better learner. It’s rare, but it’s the kind of interaction that leads to true understanding and connection.
These authentic conversations will advance your sales conversations faster than contrived scripts. You enter the chat with a mindset to learn about the prospect (or your friend’s situation). This requires curiosity. If you are really curious about learning, the other person can feel it.
Skepticism will naturally flow from curiosity. If you ask questions about why they think “that” or did “that,” you learn more. It is going to a deeper level of understanding of your conversation partner or prospect. They feel understood, and you learn more.
Think about how you communicated in conversations that didn’t feel good. People really can tell the difference when curiosity and authentic questions are missing. They recognize pitches and distinguish them from genuine interest. By focusing more on asking and less on pitching, you build trust and maybe learn something new along the way.
Listen for the Pitching
Next time you steer a conversation, pause. Am I really listening, or just waiting to talk? This small check can make all the difference in how your intentions—and you—are perceived.
Slow down, and have a conversation with prospects and customers. If they are engaged, and talking about their situation, you are learning. This is the best way to help.
Try this at home with your spouse and kids. Try it with your friends and co-workers. If you are a leader or manager, try these ideas with your employees. It works because we are human.
Seth Godin’s blog often talks about communication. Here are a couple of interesting posts from Seth. Big Leaps Communication
